Q: What are the five mourning prohibitions during shiva?
According to Jewish law, mourners during shiva must abstain from five categories of activity:
- Bathing for pleasure — basic hygiene is permitted, but showering for comfort or pleasure is not
- Anointing — applying lotions, perfumes, or cosmetics for pleasure
- Wearing leather shoes — mourners wear cloth or rubber-soled shoes as a sign of grief
- Marital relations
- Torah study — since Torah study brings joy, it is restricted; mourners may study sections related to mourning, grief, and Job
These five prohibitions are among the oldest codified mourning practices in Jewish law.
Q: What is keriah — the tearing of a garment?
Keriah (קְרִיעָה) is the ritual tearing of a garment performed at the moment of learning of a close relative's death, or traditionally just before burial. It is one of Judaism's most ancient mourning rites, echoing Jacob's grief when he believed Joseph had died.
- For a parent, the tear is made on the left side (over the heart) and is never fully repaired — it remains as a permanent mark of loss
- For other relatives, the tear is on the right side and the garment may eventually be repaired
Many mourners continue to wear the torn garment (or a symbolic ribbon) throughout shiva as a visible sign of their grief.
Q: Why do mourners sit on low chairs?
Sitting on low chairs or cushions is a physical expression of grief — the mourner is brought low by their loss. It is one of the most recognizable customs of a shiva house. Some authorities derive it from the verse where Job's friends "sat with him on the ground" (Job 2:13).
Q: Why are mirrors covered during shiva?
The custom of covering mirrors during shiva is widely observed in Ashkenazic communities. Several reasons are given:
- To avoid the vanity of focusing on one's own appearance while in mourning
- Because prayer services held in the shiva house require that no mirror face the congregation
- As a symbolic reminder that this period is not about the self, but about the soul of the departed
The custom is not universally practiced — in Sephardic communities it is less common.
Q: What is the seudat havra'ah — the meal of condolence?
The *seudat havra'ah* (סְעֻדַּת הַבְרָאָה) is the first meal a mourner eats after returning from the burial. Jewish law requires that this meal be provided entirely by friends and neighbors — the mourner may not prepare it themselves.
Traditional foods include:
- Round foods (eggs, round rolls, lentils) — symbolizing the cycle of life
- Hard-boiled eggs — a symbol of mourning in Jewish tradition
Q: What happens if shiva falls during a Jewish holiday?
The major Jewish holidays have complex interactions with shiva:
- Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Passover, Shavuot: If shiva begins before Yom Tov, the holiday cancels the remaining shiva days entirely
- Shabbat: Counts as a day of shiva but all public mourning is suspended
- Chol HaMoed (intermediate days): Some mourning practices are observed; consult a rabbi for specifics
Q: How does shiva end?
On the morning of the seventh day, mourners symbolically end shiva by leaving the house and taking a short walk outside. Friends and family often accompany them on this walk — a transition back toward life.
For further reading on the laws and customs of shiva, visit [Chabad.org's comprehensive guide to Shivah Mourning](https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/342063/jewish/Shivah-Mourning.htm).
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