When Virtual Shiva Makes Sense
Virtual shiva — also called a Zoom shiva — became common during the COVID-19 pandemic and has since established itself as a meaningful option when:
- Family members are geographically spread across different cities or countries
- Health concerns limit in-person gatherings
- The mourner prefers a hybrid format with some in-person and some virtual visitors
- International family cannot travel for the burial
A virtual shiva is not a replacement for the intimacy of in-person presence — but it ensures no one is excluded from offering comfort.
Tools You'll Need
- Video conferencing: Zoom, Google Meet, or similar
- A stable internet connection at the shiva house
- A designated host who manages the virtual room
- A shared page or group chat to share all logistics (address, virtual link, hours)
How to Structure the Virtual Shiva
Option 1: Open Room
Keep a Zoom room open during visiting hours. People join and leave freely, just like an in-person visit. This most closely mimics the natural flow of shiva.
Option 2: Scheduled Sessions
Schedule 30–60 minute blocks throughout the day. Each session has a defined group of visitors. Good for families who want more structure.
Option 3: Hybrid
Physical visitors at the house plus a Zoom link displayed on a screen or tablet in the room. Remote visitors can see and speak with the mourners in real time.
Virtual Shiva Etiquette
- Mute yourself unless speaking — background noise is disruptive in a group setting
- Keep your camera on — presence is part of the comfort
- Introduce yourself before speaking, especially if the mourner may not recognize you on screen
- Don't dominate — keep visits brief, as you would in person
- Still wait for the mourner to acknowledge you before launching into conversation
Sharing the Virtual Shiva Link
Post the Zoom link wherever you're sharing the shiva schedule — a group chat, a sign-up page, or an email — alongside the visiting hours. This ensures anyone can find the virtual option without needing to ask separately.
Sending Condolences When You Can't Attend
A shared condolence page or group message thread lets anyone leave a written message — regardless of time zone or availability. This creates a permanent, meaningful record that the family can return to in the weeks and months ahead.