What Is Shloshim?
Shloshim (שְׁלֹשִׁים), meaning "thirty" in Hebrew, refers to the thirty-day mourning period that begins at burial and includes the seven days of shiva. While shiva is the most intense period of mourning, shloshim represents a gradual return to daily life while still observing certain restrictions.
What Changes After Shiva
When shiva ends, mourners leave the house and begin re-engaging with the world. However, many restrictions remain during shloshim:
- No haircuts or shaving — This is one of the most visible markers of shloshim
- No attendance at festive events — Weddings, concerts, and parties are avoided
- No listening to live music — Recorded music restrictions vary by custom
- Continued recitation of Kaddish — The mourner's prayer is said throughout shloshim and, for a parent, for eleven months
Kaddish During Shloshim
If the deceased is a parent, Kaddish is recited for eleven months from the date of passing. For other relatives, Kaddish is typically said for thirty days. To say Kaddish, a minyan (quorum of ten Jewish adults) is required — which is why many families ask the community to help ensure a minyan at the shiva house and beyond.
The Mishna Learning Connection
Many communities organize a Mishnayos (chapters of Mishna) learning campaign during the shloshim period. The Hebrew word "neshamah" (soul) shares the same letters as the word "mishnah" — making this learning a particularly meaningful tribute.
A shared sign-up sheet — a spreadsheet, a group chat, or a printed chart at shul — makes it easy for the entire community to claim and complete Mishnayos chapters within the shloshim timeframe.
How to Support a Family During Shloshim
After shiva ends, the community's attention often moves on — but the family's grief has not. Some meaningful ways to support during shloshim:
- Check in regularly — A text or call goes a long way
- Invite them for Shabbat meals
- Help with practical tasks — Grocery shopping, childcare, errands
- Ensure they have a minyan for Kaddish — This is a significant chesed
- Continue the Mishnayos learning if it was started during shiva
When Shloshim Ends
For most mourning relationships (child, sibling, spouse), shloshim marks the end of the formal mourning period. For parents, a full year of certain restrictions continues. The yahrzeit (anniversary of passing) is observed annually with special prayers and charitable giving.